Aging, and changing: what are you going to do about it?

 

Nature is a great teacher. It’s always evolving and changing. It doesn’t care what month it is or if you like it or not. It just keeps moving forward. Whether we slog along behind it in defiance or walk beside it merrily, it’s happening regardless of our attitude.

We’re changing and evolving too. And moving forward (hopefully). Do we humans fight against it or accept it like it’s a part of the natural landscape of life? Mind and body can be at odds with one another when it comes to age. Have you noticed?

 

Can you fight ‘change’ and win?

As I read more ads and articles that focus on fighting against the natural evolution that is called aging, I want to fight back.

These articles make it seem like age is the enemy and we have to do everything we can to avoid it, manage it, conquer it. We’re offered lotions and potions, treatments and surgeries, juice drinks and fasts. The fact remains: time is marching forward whether we’re thrilled about it or not. Our bodies are changing even while we’re eating well and exercising. 50 is not the new 30. 50 is the current 50. 63 is 63 and 75 is 75.

 

 

Are we looking at this all wrong?

Does anyone make peace with age? What if we treat it as a natural thing and look at it like the change in seasons and adjust accordingly?

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I catch my face in a reflection and wonder where the 30-year-old version of me is hiding. Is she in the other room? Did I forget her in the city?

But then I remember my real goal. I don’t want to fight with age. What I want to do is be radiant, feel youthful, be open to life. I don’t want to shrink and pull away from life. My clients don’t either.

So how do I handle it? I make adjustments and make new choices. I do the same thing for my clients. We deal with feet that don’t like high heels, waistlines that have changed, butts that have flattened. We focus on necklines that bring attention to the face, colors that brighten the eyes, clothing pieces that add interest.

When I see my clients grin at their reflection in the mirror (at fifty and well beyond fifty) and they delight in what they see, I know I’ve done my work. I’ve manipulated clothes and accessories, color and line, so they can see and feel their radiance. At that moment they aren’t thinking about age at all. They look at themselves and see that they are expressing their values, personality and point of view. They are alive and present. They are noticed.

That presence is ageless.

The season can go by, the years can go by and a woman’s radiance may grow and expand and take up more space. I say, Awesome!

 

What if your view is obscured?

We all have our off days and we lose sight of our radiance. Something pops into our head–maybe a comparison to someone else–and we spin some perceived defect around and around like it was in the spin cycle of a washing machine. Only the cycle goes on for minutes, maybe hours and we’re lost in it.

If we practice and get good at it, we can catch ourself at the beginning of the cycle when we notice we’re picking on ourselves, digging up old wounds, comparing ourselves to false ideals. (That magazine cover of a celebrity your age has had a lot of work!)

There are things we can do to stop the self-criticism and comfort ourselves instead. That’s what I adore about clothes and jewels: There may be a color in your closet that makes you feel cozy and safe the minute you put it on; or maybe there’s a blouse in a pattern that guarantees entertainment for you. You just feel instantly sassy in a check or stripe or abstract floral design. Maybe there’s piece of jewelry that you reach for that reminds you of the love of a relative or friend.

 

 

Focus on pleasing yourself. Adorn yourself in what pleases you. If something you put on doesn’t feel good, take it off and start again. Get rid of the objects of distraction in your closet so you can focus on the things that attract you. It’ll make getting dressed and feeling great the easiest thing you do. Now that’s age-defying!