After mailing out the Tips & Teasers, I got some great tips sent to me and I want to share them with you here!

From Kathy: “Brenda, I have a tip for you! I found these incredible tights with a sock built in, they’re called Bootights and I bought them at Nordstrom on Market Street. OMG, from top to bottom the best fitting and most comfortable tights ever. The sock part is pure genius. Just thought I’d share.”

From Christine on creating a wish list for family members: “As for lists – brilliant idea! I started having a birthday/Christmas list a few years ago when my children asked me what I wanted. I know they wanted to give me something I’d particularly enjoy and so I made a list – it started with a chocolate bar and ended with an overseas trip. It had everything else in between. I knew something would fit their budget, I knew I would enjoy receiving anything from the list, and the list was long enough that whatever I received, it would still be a surprise. Its been so successful that nearly everyone in my family has a similar wish list and its turned out to be a real fun thing!”

And Sally adds three fabulous tips for the holidays and beyond: 1. If you don’t have time or extra cash to shop for a whole new outfit for the holidays, at least find a new top or jacket that will work with your older skirts/pants. A lacy jacket, a vibrant silk blouse, a sinfully rich sweater…I’m inspired already!

2. Learn about and start replacing the lightbulbs and flourescent tubes in your house with “full spectrum” (not “sunlight”) bulbs and tubes. This full-spectrum light can have very beneficial effects on your seratonin levels in the dark winter months, and they help you to see true colors better all year round. If you put them near your reading chair and in your kitchen, you’ll get subtle yet powerful benefits from extended exposure; in your closet, you’ll be able to see the difference between navy and black socks!

3. Buy a flattering full-length mirror for yourself. Even among very inexpensive mirrors, there are great differences in the proportions of the reflection. My current favorite cost only $16.99, but it makes me feel like a million dollars every day because it lengthens and slims the image I see right before I leave the house. Granted, I am shocked when I see a more accurate reflection in another mirror elsewhere, but by then, I am already holding myself well and smiling at the world anyway.

Thank you for sharing!!! Are there more out there? Please feel free to leave comments here for everyone to enjoy!!

Happy Mid-December.

In December’s Tips & Teasers, I gave you 7 Ways to Treat Yourself Well During the Holidays.

I think we need more than 7 ideas, don’t you? So try these additional ones.

8. Go to your calendar right now and schedule 5 invigorating workouts between now and the end of the year. It’s good for the soul to sweat away the guilt of holiday indulgences.

9a. On the other hand, pull out that favorite sugar cookie recipe, get some food dye, and make those red and green snowflake cookies. Nothing like the smell of fresh cookies to get you in the holiday spirit.

9b. Share the spirit: share those cookies with your co-workers, neighbors, postman or postwoman, alterations person, your manicurist and hairstylist. You get the idea.

10. Have an important party to go to? Splurge and go to your hairstylist and let him or her give you that updo or blowout that will make you feel so confident when you make your grand entrance.

11. Pull out nostalgic jewelry, handbags or maybe even fur pieces that have been handed down to you by loving relatives. It’s wonderful to keep their memories in the holiday mix and you’ll look and feel great too.

12. Pick a one-word mantra and start using it when you feel stressed out while spending 10 minutes in an idling car waiting for an available parking place. How about this fine list of possible words:

• peace
• prosperity
• grace
• simplicity
• resilience
• beauty
• delight

I recently heard a brain expert/author explain how focusing on a word actually makes us take on that quality. So maybe mother was right: choose your words wisely!

Let’s keep the list going! What are your “chill” ideas for December … or any-old-time? I welcome your comments!

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I sat down and watched a documentary called Teenage Paparazzo, a film by Adrian Grenier who played Vince on the HBO hit show, Entourage.

It’s an absolutely fascinating movie about the paparazzi but also the media that drives their actions — which is basically hanging out and stalking stars in order to get the “money” shot. They are paid anywhere from $500 to thousands for pictures of the stars doing things ordinary or tawdry (more money for the tawdry stuff!).

In the film, you see and hear the clamor to get as close to a full-body shot as they can so the magazines like Us and People magazine can show us the details of what the stars are wearing. You know those sections in the mags where they show the stars doing things “just like” normal folks? Shopping, eating, pushing strollers. And then of course, I’ve seen the sections called “Get the Look” so we can get a scarf like theirs, a bag like theirs or jeans like theirs.

Yikes! It’s such a whirlwind and I have to say, I’m entertained by those magazines myself. I love fashion. I love seeing how editors break the looks down. Do you?

Some stars go along with the paparazzi, feeling they have families to feed as well. Others hate it. This is particularly interesting as the film focuses on a 14-year-old paparazzi who becomes a bit famous himself.

It’s a fascinating look at media. An NYU professor, Thomas de Zengotita, was interviewed a lot and I intend to get his book called Mediated.

Would LOVE your thoughts on the matter!

I’m embarrassed to say this about my trip, but I will.

But first I’ll brag a bit. I did a darn good job of planning my trip to Australia and New Zealand. I packed for basically three seasons and while we enjoyed 90 degree (F.) weather in Sydney, the day we left Queenstown, New Zealand, I was driving to the airport with snow coming down! I used the layers, the woolens, as well as the rain gear and the sheer fabrics. The outfits all worked out. Everything about the trip exceeded my expectations.

So what embarrasses me? How poorly I planned for the re-entry! I knew I was in trouble when on November 10th, I was at my table doing my morning writing like I do every single day when I absolutely went into a panic. “Oh my gosh, Russ’ birthday is on the 12th and I haven’t even given it a thought! I need to plan a party or at least make dinner reservations,” I said to myself while Russ was sleeping peacefully at the other end of the house.

I only admitted it to him two days later — that I had worked myself into a frenzy about his birthday on the 12th — only to realize that his birthday is not November 12th. It is March 12th, just like every year. But for those few minutes on the 10th, I was sure I’d blown it.

“What made me think your birthday was November 12th?” I asked him shaking my head.

“Brenda, it’s just mental fatigue. I have it too,” he confessed.

With the ease of travel these days — the mere fact that you can get on a plan in San Francisco in autumn and 15 hours later be in Sydney, Australia in springtime — it’s easy to think that it’s just all so easy.

But it still must take something out of you to do all of that zipping around. I have confessed my bumpy re-entry to only a few people. It seems like a problem one doesn’t speak about.

But knowing that returning home has been a bit challenging, I think I’ll have a re-entry remedy plan in place for next time

Here’s what I’d put on my list:
1. Schedule a massage for two days after landing.
2. Go for a long walks in nature every single day, rain or shine, to get grounded again.
3. Spend time neatening up my closet. That’s always so mentally soothing to me.
4. Prepare good food immediately. There’s nothing more pathetic than opening the fridge and seeing nothing … or something … that’s orange, red or purple and it’s not supposed to be. One colleague of mine has food arranged to be delivered to her house by a catering service upon their return. Smart!
5. Lower my expectations. Plan to do less — much less — and accomplish less –much less — for the following 3 to 6 days depending on how long the trip was or how far away I was.

Sometimes the best part of returning from a trip away is the musing that comes afterwards. I like to sort out the things I learned, think about the beautiful images I saw and relish the trip before jumping right back into the swing of things.

What do you do to take care of yourself in the aftermath of travel?

I’ve given this some serious thought. If I can be the boss for the day, here’s what you should not buy if you’re out shopping on the busiest day of the year (the crowds, the chaos — what were you thinking????) if you’re over 18 years old.

1. A black leather mini skirt — even if they’re “in” you shouldn’t be in one. Your age on your driver’s license may not match your mental age. If it’s “mini” anything, let the driver’s license number be your guide.

2. Black fishnet stockings that are designed to look ripped. But go ahead and buy the fine knit ones!

3. Black over the knee boots — they’ll go on sale in a couple of weeks. Hold off!

4. Black nail polish. I love it but it’s been overdone.

5. Another pair of black pants — unless they really are in a category that hasn’t been covered already!

If you made it through the throngs of shoppers and came away with some great purchases, good for you! Tell us what you found!

My list appears in no particular order and of course, there are more where these came from. But I must mention:

1. Lilacs. To see them twice this year was awesome. First in Sonoma this spring, then in Queenstown, New Zealand at the beginning of November. My heart sings!

Queenstown lilacs

2. Trees. They are endlessly entertaining.

Under a giant sycamore

3. Young people having fun with fashion.

young fashionistas

4. Older people having fun with fashion. This is a woman I introduced myself to in a restaurant in Sydney, Australia. She was so distinguished, wearing a slim black dress, with bracelets and a scarf. I told her how beautiful she was and she said, “Really? I thought maybe I’d worn too many accessories today.”

mature fashionista

5. Russ and how he moves his body. He makes me laugh!

Russ and mime

6. Being present with my parents as they celebrated their 60th anniversary this summer.

Mom and Dad with 60 years of marriage under their belts

7. Colleagues. Fellow image consultants all over the world are passionate people who just want to serve the planet by creating more beauty.

New Zealand image consultants rock!

8. Writers.

9. Comics. They write and perform and I saw one of the best in Marin last week — Brian Regan. So inspiring and talented!

10. The three Cs — coffee, chocolate, and cornbread.

11. Good people … like you. Long ago when I was sad to be leaving my buddies on the Central Coast and moving to Marin County, a friend said, “Don’t worry, Brenda. There are good people everywhere.” She was right!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. If you care to, share your list too!

Okay, so last month I was traveling to Sydney, Australia. Remember?

And in the Tips & Teasers newsletter I showed you how I pack for a trip.

Remember this? It was step one: Collect potential outfits, try them on, see what makes the cut.

Brenda's pretend "Chanel" suit is a finalist!

Then, step two was to put plastic wrap (recycled drycleaning bag) over the whole outfit for protection.

Remember, all parts of the outfit are on the hanger.

Yellow suit gets protection for long journey

Then the suit, hanger and all, gets folded into the suitcase.

"Don't be afraid, little yellow suit. It's only 15 hours to Sydney!"

“And then what happened?” you may ask.

Well, I pulled out the suit, no wrinkles at all, slipped into it and wore it at the AICI conference in Sydney.

Brenda and Imogen Lamport at the conference

See those smiling faces? When you don’t have your clothes to worry about, you get to enjoy your friends effortlessly.

A good time was had by all.

This was a letter that a reader of Tips & Teasers sent me after I posted my newsletter about travel tips. I asked her if it was okay to share her ideas with you so here they are!

These are Jane’s words and her 5 tips:

I’ve enjoyed your books, tips and teasers for several years now.  Having once had an international career involving multi-stage trips that often started in Geneva and ended in the African bush, I have a few ideas for you to think about, incorporate as you wish. Some are more standard fare, most are geared towards traveling VERY light.

1. If there’s a chance you may be driving somewhere through the “outback” or some other form of “bush”, take a longish, flowing SKIRT.  It will serve as your privacy curtain when you need to pee en route by the road with nary an outhouse, never mind a bush…to squat by. Much easier than having to deal with pants while your traveling companions wait.

2. Always take a pair of shoes you can walk in.  Even if you never have to wear them. The #1 piece of “security” advice I was given once by personnel of Operation Lifeline Sudan (the humanitarian air lift operation into southern Sudan years ago) was to wear walking shoes whenever you boarded the small planes, so that in the not too unlikely event that you might have to crash land, you were prepared to start walking.

3. If you are going someplace that may involve walking about in sandals in dry and dusty areas, take a pumice stone for your heels.  If you are going to a hot, damp tropical area, take anti-fungal cream.  While living in the African bush someone once brought me a bar of beautifully fragrant french-milled soap.  It’s been almost 3 decades since the ”spit” baths taken with it-and remains a vivid and delightful memory.

4. For the Geneva side of things, one basic black skirt, solid jewel toned tops (all knits/no iron) of simple and classic lines that formed the background for a collection of memorable scarves, from silk to thick woven wool wraps…depending on the season there… and jewelry……Everything in one small carry-on bag, always…..and everything coordinated to “mix and match”…

5. One more ”bush” fashion must, in my experience…at least one large cotton scarf that can be wrapped about ones hair if riding through wind, dust, sun in an open vehicle….it doesn’t do much for the hair underneath when you take it off (the advantage of long hair tied in a bun) but it saves you from the damage one such drive can wreak on your hair. Even if you have a hat on, the scarf is a must…and (you’d have a flat head of hair anyway).

Awesome tips, Jane! Thanks so much for sharing!

Anybody else care to share? Add comments to this blog post. I love it!

I wrestled Russ for the remote last night as I had to hear what dresses were making reporter’s best and worst list after Sunday night’s Emmy Award’s show.

It’s so funny because one person’s favorite is on the top of another person’s worst dressed list.

I was enthralled by Sofia Vergara in her red gown designed by Vera Wang. The way the designer wrapped fabric, twisted and arranged it to follow the amazing curves of Sofia’s body was pure genius. Many people may wish for a body like that but I know dressing lots of curves has its challenges. Vera Wang adorned those curves masterfully. It was just right.

In a structured white gown by Giorgio Armani, Julianna Marguiles was at the top of some lists for best dressed. Although it wouldn’t have been on my best dressed list, it was a great study in a completely different kind of design. The bodice had its own definition — which had basically nothing to do with her body and its shape. The dress called the shots. Of course, her body shape lent itself to this display of talent. You couldn’t have put that dress on a curvy body and gotten the same results.

Can you imagine how fun it must be to have masters of design creating something for you to wear to a special event? Of course, the stakes are high. Here we are talking about best and worst afterall!

What dresses stood out for you — whether in a good way or a bad way?

Here is an interview with my folks, Don and Alma, on how to get to 60 years of marriage and be so in love. Love is always in fashion, isn’t it?

Mom and Dad, still smiling after 60 years of marriage

Hope you enjoy!

Don and Alma on 60 Years of Marriage,  2011

What qualities are necessary to be married 60 years?

Don: Have a positive attitude. Humor goes along with that.

Alma: We had the ability to laugh at ourselves.

Don: Take a day at a time. If you have a down day, wait 48 hours. The sun will shine again.

Why did you marry Don?

I just knew he’d make these real cute babies.

Why did you marry Alma?

She had a wonderful smile, a wonderful disposition and was fun to be with. I was looking forward to a mate and togetherness.

Why it works

Alma: We’re each other’s best friends. We can trust each other and bare our souls.

Don: And have an honest discussion.

Alma: There’s always someone there to help you whether it’s physical or emotional.

Don and Alma: We’ve been lucky and we’ve been blessed. We’ve had lots of good friends all our life and good family to back us up.

Don: We’re always concerned about each other.

Alma: We worry about each other. That’s the sad part that happens now and then.

Best tools for getting through tough times

Don: Communication.

Alma: We’re more optimists than pessimists. If one gets down, the other one pulls us up.

Don appreciates Alma for …

She finds the clothes for me to wear so I depend on that and her cleanliness in our home.

Alma appreciates Don for …

I’m real content going with him in a car because I think he’s a very good driver.

Togetherness

Don and Alma: We always have something to talk about. We love staying up until one in the morning with the lights out and music on and just visiting. When we reminisce, it’s about the good things, not the bad. We omit the bad things that have happened and remember the good times.

Fears

Alma: I thought after two weeks of marriage we wouldn’t have anything to talk about.

Don: That’s a good one! That is absolutely precious!

Their advice to others

Don: Enjoy life!

Alma: We’re thankful for every day and look forward to many more. We’ll never get enough.