Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I sat down and watched a documentary called Teenage Paparazzo, a film by Adrian Grenier who played Vince on the HBO hit show, Entourage.

It’s an absolutely fascinating movie about the paparazzi but also the media that drives their actions — which is basically hanging out and stalking stars in order to get the “money” shot. They are paid anywhere from $500 to thousands for pictures of the stars doing things ordinary or tawdry (more money for the tawdry stuff!).

In the film, you see and hear the clamor to get as close to a full-body shot as they can so the magazines like Us and People magazine can show us the details of what the stars are wearing. You know those sections in the mags where they show the stars doing things “just like” normal folks? Shopping, eating, pushing strollers. And then of course, I’ve seen the sections called “Get the Look” so we can get a scarf like theirs, a bag like theirs or jeans like theirs.

Yikes! It’s such a whirlwind and I have to say, I’m entertained by those magazines myself. I love fashion. I love seeing how editors break the looks down. Do you?

Some stars go along with the paparazzi, feeling they have families to feed as well. Others hate it. This is particularly interesting as the film focuses on a 14-year-old paparazzi who becomes a bit famous himself.

It’s a fascinating look at media. An NYU professor, Thomas de Zengotita, was interviewed a lot and I intend to get his book called Mediated.

Would LOVE your thoughts on the matter!

I was in the dressing room with a client helping her find a bathing suit (we found three fabulous ones she couldn’t resist!) when she told me about a must-see movie. I made a point of seeing it the next chance I had and she joined Russ and I for a Saturday matinee. Everyone I’ve run into has heard me go on and on about this film and now you’re hearing it too!

Bill Cunningham New York is a documentary about him and his life and career in New York, photographing people on the street. His “On the Street” photo column appears every Sunday in the Fashion & Style section of the New York Times. It’s a half page collage of photos depicting one theme per week. You might see his street shots of people in trench coats, footwear, rain gear, men’s jackets, plaid, texture, color, etc. He’ll stand on the streets of New York waiting for interesting fashion to go by. He photographs it, organizes the photos in themes so we, the readers, can enjoy the spectacle just like he does. Oh, and he’s an octogenarian who bikes all around New York on his 29th bicycle (the last 28 were stolen). His passion is boundless. The mystery around what makes him tick is nearly as vast. This film could be playing in an art house near you. Check it out!

Quote from the movie

– photographer Bill Cunningham as quoted from the documentary, Bill Cunningham New York

Clothing as armor
In the meantime, I’ve been thinking about what he said about clothing being armor that we can’t do without. I may not call it armor but I do absolutely believe that what we wear helps us function in life with more confidence and ease than if we just wore one uniform our whole life – which actually, Bill Cunningham does! (Odd, I know, but that’s why you have to see the movie and join in on this conversation!)

Clothes give off strong vibes
To help you understand how I interpret this, I’ve got three examples for you. I know that when I need to or want to feel powerful in a situation, my clothes can help support me.
I’ll choose crisp fabrics, something with a collar, strong jewelry pieces. Perhaps I’ll wear contrast in my colors because that’s more powerful than soft, pastel colors. Sometimes when I walk into a room of strangers, I want to feel stronger. Or maybe when I give a presentation and really want someone’s attention, I’ll dress in a more formal, powerful way.

A power core of pieces
Symbols that help you look powerful, when maybe you could use some help include:

1. Crisp fabrics
2. Bold jewelry
3. High contrast in colors
4. Strong collars
5. Military details like brass buttons and epalets
6. High-heeled, closed-toe shoes

Put away the powerful and bring out the playful
So if you or I have a job where we have to wear our “powerful” faces Monday through Friday, we have to be able to tell our brains to knock it off on the weekend and go out and have some fun! By changing our clothes, we can change our thoughts and create a new experience. Clothes can help us relax.

Playful pieces encourage play
Some clothing options to encourage our brains to get out and have some fun include:

1. Prints, especially polka dots, abstract prints, soft stripes, florals
2. Open toed shoes
3. Details like bows, or in the shirt above, tying the ends of the blouse together instead of tucking them in
4. Floppy brimmed hats
5. Softly structured bags, fabric bags

Clothes that comfort
Who doesn’t need cozy clothes? Sometimes when you come home from work you want to get out of your work clothes but it’s too early to slip into jammies. That’s when you need some clothes that sooth, comfort, and cradle you. This is a sub-group of people’s lifestyle that often does not get the attention it deserves. People resort to horrible, worn out items that have morphed into comfort clothes because they’ve been washed and dried a thousand times. But you couldn’t run out and pick up some ice cream wearing them. You may be used to them but the public could be appalled. Come on! ‘Fess up! You know it’s true! Give this important part of your life the respect and attention it deserves.

Cozy clothes doesn’t mean worn out or sloppy clothes
Symbols of clothes that give off a comforting vibe include:

1. Soft, drapy, fluid pieces
2. Fabrics are soft, never scratchy or stiff
3. Knits make great comfy separates
4. Shoes are easy to wear and aren’t full of detail
5. Handbag has a slouchy shape and is in a soft leather
6. No hard creases in pants

So tell me about your clothing armor! What you’re wearing to face the world? How does it make you feel?

The first words out of the first winner of the night, Robert Stromberg for Art Direction, were, “Why didn’t I lose those twenty pounds?” It garnered laughs and spoke to those of us regular folks in the TV watching audience. I remember getting on the scale one particular day, seeing a number that was higher than I’d seen before and thinking flippantly, “Well, at least I’m not going to be on Oprah this week.” And by the end of the week, The Oprah Winfrey Show was calling me about being on the show. When we filmed my appearance two weeks later, there were many more things to think about than my weight but I can say I know the feeling, Robert!

The second guy who got up to accept the second award – Wally Pfister for Cinematography – had his glasses perched on top of his head the whole journey to the podium. I’m thinking, “Why are they there? Please pull them off before you reach the stage. Or maybe he needs them to read his list of supporters who helped him get this award.” But when he got to the podium, he didn’t pull the glasses down, he just spoke and walked away—with the glasses still on top of his head, like he had just been welding a car part and had taken a break to accept this award. Note to nominees: if accepting an award, take glasses off head. Distracting.

Want to know what to wear if you have a long neck? A dress with a really tall collar like Melissa Leo had on when she accepted the award for Best Supporting Actress. That collar went on forever, as did her neck, as did her general hysterics at winning.

Helen Mirren wore a gown in this year’s most powerful, dreamy, scrumptious color – gray – and looked glorious as ever! She’s in the Lifetime Achievement category of Oscar fashion moments—always looking great.

Reese Witherspoon proves that black and white always looks right. I had a flashback to Julia Robert’s gown, the year she won for playing Erin Brockovich. Remember that black and white vintage Valentino gown? I think it’s in the Hall of Oscar Fashion Fame. Fab!

Nicole Kidman wore a spring trend—the choker! Hers wasn’t costume jewelry, I’m sure, but I bet there will be a lot of inexpensive versions out in the market place in the next five minutes!

Scarlett Johansson. Russ, sitting next to me, said it first –  “What’s up with the hair?” She’s been consistently wearing her hair in the heavy-on-product way that makes me reach for that term—bedhead – while scratching my own head. Why that choice, Scarlett?

Next shoulda, woulda, coulda statement: Luke Metheny, winner for Live Action Short Film got up and his first words were, “I should have gotten a haircut.” He was so charming, funny and sweet that I suspect most people gave him a pass on the out-of-control hair by the end of his acceptance speech – in which he thanked his mom … for providing catering services.

Oprah Winfrey presented the award for Best Documentary. Her makeup was sensational. Her hair was sensational. She was wearing a gown in that favorite color again – gray – and while I was redesigning it in my head, Russ was giving the reason why: “They should have toned down the boobs,” he said. Which actually was where my brain was only instead of toning down the boobs, in my mind I was exaggerating the shoulder line of the dress – making it bigger and wider – which would have toned down the boobs! The winner for best documentary, Charles Ferguson, wanted it on record: “Let the record show, I’m not wearing jeans.” Because you thought an award’s show that billions will view was the place to wear jeans?

Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law brought some life to the Oscar party when they showed up to present. But I wanted to do two things: straighten Jude’s bow tie and button another button on Robert Downey Juniors jacket. He had the top button buttoned but then you saw his white shirt peeking out and it made the jacket look either too tight (like those twenty pounds the first guy talked about) or just ill-fitting. There are three buttons on most men’s jackets. The top two could have been buttoned and he’d have avoided a disheveled look.

Jennifer Hudson has lost eighty pounds thanks to Weight Watchers. Great job! And she’s been looking fabulous in everything … except for that red dress! She looked like an imposter of herself. I’ve seen images of her since her weight loss so that part wasn’t shocking to me, but that dress was a miss. You have to get the boobs right and hers were taped up into that dress but it added to how uncomfortable she looked in her body. I’d understand that her body is new to her but her handlers could have made a better choice, one that was more in keeping with her personality.

I was personally moved by the quote they put on the screen after the sequence on the movie people who have passed on this year. Lena Horne said, “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” I had just reached the couch to watch the Oscars after having spent the weekend with my breast cancer support group – we all met while going through treatment together about seven years ago and we were enjoying this weekend away at Sea Ranch. That quote of Lena’s was on my bulletin board while I was going through treatment. What it meant to me at the time was that the load of going through cancer treatment wouldn’t break me down if I carried it right – and those ladies in my support group helped me do that. Thanks, Gorgeous Ones!

In my notes, Annette Bening, a presenter and a nominee gets the best-dressed award for old school movie star glamour. She was in an Oscar worthy gown, so glistening, so great! Kathryn Bigelow, the winning director from last year, gets my award for new school gown. She wore a long red gown with long-sleeves, kind of architectural with shoulder slit peepholes. It was very modern but not goofy. The person who was in the what-school-would-that-be-anyway category was past winner, Cate Blanchett. Odd dress!

Sandra Bullock redeemed herself after her odd Golden Globe hair and getup in January. She’s back to looking like the movie star Sandra in her gorgeous red gown with hair pulled back.

And the person I was expecting to give us the outfit most likely to be talked about on Monday—Helena Bonham Carter—was actually quite toned down for her.

So, what were your favorites? Who was closest to wearing a dress you could see yourself in?

I got to thinking, in the middle of decorating the house for the holidays, about dressing the middle … that part of a woman’s body that many women hate. If you’re a woman who is over forty-five or fifty, I bet you’ve complained about it a hundred times this year so far. You’ve said things like:
“I used to show off my waist and now I can’t find one!”
“What do I do about these rolls?”
“My body’s betrayed me! I don’t know how to dress anymore!”
“I feel so old now.”

This bag begins to cover the area many women complain about

Believe me, I’ve heard the complaints, but I don’t believe any body part should be hated so join me in some new fashion math that can have you loving your middle.

Go Vertical

Create a vertical focus that draws attention up to the face

In the outfit above – a sleeveless gray tee (by Classiques at Nordstrom) with a gray ¾ sleeved cardigan sweater over it (by Theory) – the waistline isn’t the focus. The interest is in the vertical center section of the torso. The different directions of ribbon on the stretchy t-shirt as well as the multiple strands of beads that fill in at the neck provide distraction from the middle. Middle? What middle?

More vertical interest

In this outfit above, which could be worn with a trouser or a skinny blue jean and heels, there’s more vertical interest. The ruffles that line the button placket of the olive green silk blouse draw the eye up to the face. The sequined jacket is cut more square with a pleat in the back that draws in some of the fabric so it’s not too baggy. The contrast of the sparkly sequins to the smooth silk adds more interest to the outfit. Waist? Who cares!

Soft folds and side detail with buttons creates a waist detail while camouflaging rolls

Here’s a sweater (above) that is more friendly than a close-fitting pullover. The gentle gathering into the waist at the side actually provides extra fabric for those rolls to hide behind while creating the illusion of a waistline. No one will mistake a twenty-eight inch waist for a thirty-three inch waist but it’s the line we’re going for, not the exact measurements. The necklace draws the eye up which creates a longer, leaner line. Not bad for post-holiday waistlines!

Filling in the center of the body is the new direction to follow

This outfit has a lot of detail that fills in the center core of the body. The individual pieces are a ¾ sleeve scoopneck knit dressy tee, a sleeveless leather vest that looks best open rather than zipped closed, the same knotted necklace that’s in the picture before this one, and a cotton boa scarf tied in a simple hangman’s knot. I’ve worn this outfit a couple of dozen times already. What’s great is that I can take the top layers off and it still works. If I’m in a warm room, I can take the scarf off and the vest still has a lot of interest at the top. The sparkly necklace is a fun, feminine contrast to the leather motorcycle-styled vest.  I could even take the vest off if I wanted to because the top is not clingy. I don’t have to be worried about showing rolls when there’s no fabric clinging to them.

So, remember, you’re not decorating the waistline as much as you’re decorating the line perpendicular to it – that imaginary vertical line that would intersect your belly-button and your breastplate. There’s no reason to give up on fashion just because your body has changed. Embrace the changes and have fun!

Today I am thankful for turtleneck alternatives. Yes, it’s turtleneck time. It’s chilly, blustery, and time to protect the neck from incoming chills that could threaten your fall/winter wellness. I am a big believer in the Chinese medicine lore that keeping the neck covered in bad weather means less colds, flu and diseases.

But I’m also a fashion consultant and ladies, if you’re thinking about wearing that turtleneck, I’m going to have to take a look at your ID. If your driver’s license hints that you’re over fifty, I’ll need you to step aside for a fashion test before you go out into the world and meet your public.

I worked with a client last week who was getting ready to celebrate her 50th birthday. We were planning her weekend outfits for all the festivities and she was hinting at including a turtleneck. When I demanded to see it on her, she just sung a little tune and obliged me. “I live for turtlenecks,” she said. “My sister always teases me. She says, ‘Which turtleneck do you want to be buried in?’”

Yes, very funny I’m thinking, but I’m wearing my fashion police hat. If she doesn’t pass inspection, she’s not wearing that turtleneck–no way! Soon she has it on and I make her look in all directions–north, south, east, and west–and sure enough, no part of the turtleneck grabs her delicate neck skin, tugging at it until it makes uncompromising, unflattering creases and folds. Nothing makes a lovely woman look fifteen years older than a turtleneck that mercilessly distorts the neck skin–while the wearer is not even aware!

Take Diane Keaton, for instance. I squirmed uncomfortably as I watched her on Oprah one time, wearing a fabulous outfit that included a too-tight turtleneck. Her neck aged her by decades that day. How could her publicist have not noticed?

But alas, there are alternatives. The scarf! The lovely, lovely, scarf. You can still be cozy and warm in cashmere sweaters with crew necks or v-necks. And then you take a scarf, twist it in a hangman’s knot (sorry, that’s what it’s called) and you have an instant turtleneck! Only now, you’re fashionable, chic, and looking five to ten years younger than you are simply because your neck skin is not being pulled at.

I am woman. I roar. But put me in a turtleneck and make me look in the mirror and I will crumble. Meeting the reflection of the me that is over fifty as I witness the surreal things my skin is doing in that turtleneck is a road I don’t want to take more than once. In a sweater and a scarf I can still fool myself that I’m closer to the age I feel, not the age I look. I can live with that.

What’s your favorite turtleneck alternative?

left to right: Marj, Brenda, Lynn, Nicole

As some of you know, I meet with two other image consultants once a month to brainstorm, share resources, go on field trips and just enjoy each other’s delightful company. It’s a tradition that’s been going on for nearly ten years! This month, we had a guest member join us, Nicole who was visiting from New York. What fun we had! On one of the prettiest days in the wine country, we enjoyed a late September afternoon lunch at Bardessono, my favorite (and beautiful!) hotel and spa in Yountville.

What better place to bring up a question that’s been on my mind. I think about beauty, as in how we put ourselves together using clothes and accessories in a pleasing way, and I think, “Why would anyone bother?” It’s the devil’s advocate question you already know how I feel about the subject. I’ve written countless articles, newsletters and books about it. I think beauty is a salve for the soul and the reward for living what can be a challenging life.

Certainly, there is plenty of evidence out there that people don’t bother! It hurts my eyes from time to time when I see it. Yet, there have to be compelling reasons to bother and I wondered what my cohorts thought about the subject.

We’re a group that believes from personal experience as well as professional experience, that you feel better about yourself and what’s in front of you to do today when you look sharp, pulled together, and inviting. But what really compels someone to make the effort?

Nicole made the point that if you spend your day social networking, you could be in your jammies all day. Who would know the difference? But she lives in New York and certainly, when you walk out onto the streets, there are people who are dressed and inspiring to look at. That alone can create the impetus to make an effort.

Other contributions to the discussion –

Lynn: “I’m living my life once so I need to make it an event. I’m going to grab the gusto and put on something I love to wear. I’m not that tied into what others are doing. They have their one life to live and that’s fine.”

Marj: “I like being surrounded by color, texture, interest and creativity. I just think it pleases other people to look nice.”

Nicole: “Fashion and beauty isn’t easy and if you don’t know how to do it, it becomes a chore. Maybe in their hearts, people want to look good but they’re worried it’s going to cost too much.”

I know that beauty doesn’t have to cost a fortune, style can be developed, dressing well can be learned. And I think it’s worth the effort. Please, would you share your thoughts on the subject? I’d love to know what do you think. Why do you make the effort or not?

I’m a day late–and don’t tell me who got kicked off of Idol this week because I’m still watching last night’s show. I had to put the TV on pause to write down what guest mentor Usher had to say to American Idol contestant Siobhan Magnes. He coached her on her song but then said, “Have you thought about your wardrobe?” She was dressed in a totally mixed up outfit which caught Usher’s attention–not in a good way. Usher told Shobhan, “You want to be sure that you don’t have so much going on that people get away from what you have to offer as a vocalist.”

Siobhan had her worst week so far. She was off key in about a dozen places. Randi commented on her boots. He liked them. Simon thought she was all over the place with her song and added, “You look all over the place too.”

Presenting oneself, whether on American Idol or on life’s stage wherever you are, has a lot to do with the packaging. How are you packaging yourself? Are you all over the place? Are you making it easy to communicate with? Are you pushing people away or drawing them in? Clothes do so much talking for us. I hope they’re telling the true story about you.

Woke up this morning thinking of red carpets, statuettes, paparazzi and goody bags. Didn’t you? Can’t wait for the Oscar show even though it’s a marathon TV watching event and the only way to get through long hours of TV is with extra portions of popcorn.

I got to thinking about the team it takes to prepare for a walk on the red carpet and started thinking about MY team. Who would I put in charge of makeup, hair, dresses, shapers, etc.? Easy! Names popped into my head immediately. Here they are.

For hair I’m going with Ginger Burr. Ginger and I served together on the international board of the Association of Image Consultants International about a million years ago. The entire board (we were coming from all parts of the US) gathered in Fort Worth, Texas for a strategic planning session one long weekend. Before one of our dinners out, Ginger gave me hair that made my board members proud. She curled it and made it big and glamorous. I looked mostly like myself only better. Go Ginger!

For makeup, I’ll go with Colleen Abrie from Burlingame. She plays with makeup like Julia Child played with ingredients for a dinner party. An artist! I wish I could replicate what she does to my face but I don’t have the makeup gene. However, when she compliments me on my makeup when I run into her in public (this does not happen every time I see her!), I float on a cloud the rest of the day.

For my dress, I’ll go with what has worked in the past. Five years ago I was the “superstar” in an event called, “Secrets from a Style Superstar.” It was a fashion show sponsored by our local chapter of AICI. I was the speaker and MC of the event held in a big San Francisco downtown hotel as we showed real women in real clothes and gave the audience lots of styling tips to take home with them. We had live music for the runway show, the Klein Trio, a jazz combo that had a red-headed young man playing the standup bass, named Trevor Kinsel  (my son). I had to dress to impress and I did. Again, I looked sort of like myself, only better. Much better.

Lea Ditson, a favorite local designer with a big following, dressed me for that event. I met her at her studio and together we chose fabrics and concocted a most wonderful outfit. It was a tea-length full skirt in persimmon orange floral silk taffeta, a bustier type underpiece and a striped silk multi-colored cropped gold jacket with 3/4 sleeves. She added gorgeous jewels to my neck and embroidered slipper type heels with open backs to my feet. I often bring clients to her studio to be outfitted for special events. How delightful to be enjoying the role reversal.

Although I didn’t need to wear one that night, if I was wearing something really clingy, I’d put Bianca Stark-Falcone on my team. She’d be in charge of all shaping and taping. When it comes to undergarments, she really knows her stuff!

To get tips for walking the red carpet, I’d choose Catherine Schuller. She can produce fashion shows with the same ease I can make a peanut butter sandwich. I’ve seen her in action. In fact, at a Divabetics event that I participated in with her, she even taught my sweetheart, Russ, how to walk the runway as he escorted one of the models in the show at the Paramount movie studios in LA.

And my assistant who would tell me which camera to face and remind me of the designers and jewelry makers who had contributed to this big magnificent fluff of a person floating down the red carpet (me) would be Nicole Fersel who holds details together better than a ziplock bag holds chocolate chip cookies. (Maybe I’ll make some of those for tomorrow night …)

There you have it! There’s my team. And really, except for the dress designer, they are all friends I’ve met through AICI. Good friends, talented all of them, there when I need them … I feel like a winner!

Sitting here on Saturday morning, the pre-Thanksgiving duties are looming, but for the moment, I’m reflecting on this past week and all it held: Sarah Palin, Oprah, together. Well let’s start there. Old wounds have been reopened! I’m talking about me, not Sarah. I was so happy, well, no, first I was stunned when Sarah Palin came on the scene. I remember the night she was announced by McCain as his running mate and being an image consultant, I studied how her clothes were put together and I thought, wow, she really looks the part! And I meant that in a good way. Why shouldn’t she? She’s running for the 2nd highest position in the country. Then weeks go by and suddenly her clothes are the hot topic in the press. Just the opposite of what should happen with a great, well-put-together image.

Wearing clothes that match the position you’re going for is what should keep the focus off the clothes and on the message. When clothes and the position are a disconnect, clothes get in the way. Dress like a surfer dude when you want to get a position at a bank and no matter how qualified you are, no one will trust you.

Never before have I seen such a fuss made over image, over a GREAT image. Put your politics aside, please. Just stay with me here. She was dressing the part of a woman in Washington, running for office, not a soccer mom in Alaska, as would you or I, right? And my head is not in the sand, I do know that the bill was high and the subject of who was paying for it was being questioned–but I would have certainly expected that someone somewhere would have said, “Let’s pay for some campaign outfits for her. We’re putting a woman in the spotlight. Let’s be sure she looks the part.” It’s not a discussion with men, although it should be. But fewer things can go awry with a suit, a shirt and a tie.

So I remember the day Sarah got on TV and said the clothes had all gone back to the stores, Saks and Neimans, and she was back to wearing her consignment clothes. She was breaking every rule I’ve ever written: tell the public more info than they need to know. “This old thing? Oh, I got it at the consignment store.” A woman should NEVER have to say anything about her appearance except for “Thank you” to a compliment. Clothes should be your silent partners, making you look great without anyone having to know where it came from, how much it cost, who’s aunt it belonged too–save all that for the “sports talk” of fashion, when you’re just hanging out talking about the sport of clothes. But to national media? NO! Consignment clothes may be your secret weapon, but don’t advertise it. Just smile and accept a compliment.

I think every politician should have an image consultant helping them with their clothes, making clothes easy so they don’t have to think about them, let alone, defend them! We should all have image consultants helping us understand how clothes can support us in life  through the incredible language of clothing that few people understand consciously. Clothes need to become that non-issue in our lives so our time and energy is opened up to do what it is we are put on this earth to do! And that we allow clothes to be the supportive agents that they can be. I’ve always said, in order to forget about clothes, you need to focus on them once in a while . . . easiest to do with a professional at your side. Then you can completely forget about them.

Okay, enough of my soap box. And I didn’t even get to Oprah. Okay, more later.