7 In Women Now

Get Dressed to Please Yourself

Get ready for now in your wardrobe on Brenda Kinsel website


I’m choosing the mantra “Get Ready for Now” as this month’s focus. Why? For one thing, this time of the year is unique. We’re not complete with winter and spring is a few weeks away. How do we get our wardrobes ready for right now, for this in-between season? I can’t wait to share with you some of the things I’m doing in my clients’ closets to help them have fun during this transitional time. Look for that in upcoming blog posts.

There’s another aspect of “now” that I’m interested in and it’s more the mental and emotional resistance to taking action, now, on your own behalf. People come up with all kinds of reasons to linger in the past or put off facing the present. Here are things I’ve heard.


1. I just want to lose these five pounds and then I’ll do something about my wardrobe.
2. I’m too stressed out. I can’t think about myself right now.
3. It doesn’t really matter, no one’s noticing me. Fashion is for young people.
4. Everyone’s causal. If I wore a scarf or a pretty necklace I’d look different. I’m afraid to look different.
5. I’m uncomfortable spending money on myself. It’s easier to spend money on my kids, grandkids or husband.


Those strategies send the wrong message.

I believe that taking care of yourself sends powerful messages to your brain. Sure, some people say we get dressed for other people and maybe that’s true, sometimes. But at the core, it’s that person who looks back at you in the mirror who is the most important one to please. When we do that, all things are possible.

We can relax.
We can feel less serious and more lighthearted about life.
It’s a way to demonstrate kindness to others and ourselves.


It helps us feel present no matter what comes up in the day whether that’s dining with friends, attending a conference, problem solving with someone at work, or hanging with the family.


AICI friends at education conference on Brenda Kinsel website

Friends and colleagues last weekend demonstrating the art of pleasing yourself with what you wear.


When you’ve dressed with the intention of pleasing yourself, you can be authentic to any moment that comes up in this experience of life.


Wise words by Jean Vanier


I listened to a great interview from the radio program On Being with Krista Tippett. In an episode called “The Wisdom of Tenderness” she’s speaking with the French Canadian philosopher and social innovator, Jean Vanier. He’s been compared to his late friend, Mother Teresa and called a living saint.

About seven minutes into the interview he says, “The big thing for me is to love reality. I come back to the reality of pleasure and the reality of what is my deepest pleasure. The deepest desire for us all is to be appreciated, to be loved, to be seen as somebody of value.”

You may think it’s a stretch to take Jean Vanier’s words and apply them to style and fashion, but I don’t. I believe that by paying attention to that everyday event of getting dressed, we demonstrate to ourselves that we’re appreciated, loved, and have value.

There’s no time like the present to be present to yourself.

How do you do that using the tools of style and fashion?

  1. You wear what you love.
  2. You choose colors and textures that delight you.
  3. If you put something on your body and it feels icky on you—whether it’s the feel of the fabric, or the bad fit, or the general dour feeling you have when you’re in it—you let it go.

Start right now. Looking in your closet, what can you put on that makes you feel loved? Choose that thing and wear it. Make that choice to wear what you love again tomorrow. In fact, make it your March habit. I’ll be there on your shoulder cheering you on.


Wearing an outfit you love on Brenda Kinsel website

Hanging out on a Sunday wearing what I love



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  • Reply
    Stephanie Quick
    August 18, 2016 at 7:00 am

    Just shared this post on Facebook – very sensible words, tho most see style as frivolous. Truly if you’re miserable it’s not easy to be helpful to anyone else, and as you say we can’t run around nekkid anyway 😉

    Thank you for this blog! I’m helping my mom settle in a new home while she recovers from a back fracture here in Napa city, it’s a treat seeing all your great looks, your smart an entertaining posts, and enjoying the references to local boutiques and artists as well.

    The only downside – i’m itching to go shopping, but i stink at it! heehee, well i do sew for myself and i’ve been busy there and that will have to do. Enjoy your day!!

    • Reply
      August 18, 2016 at 9:18 am

      Thanks, Stephanie! Sewing is a great talent to have. I’m sure you use it well. Best to your mom in her recovery! Thanks for sharing.

  • Reply
    February 19, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    “I believe that taking care of yourself sends powerful messages to your brain. Sure, some people say we get dressed for other people and maybe that’s true, sometimes.”

    My mom taught me that I needed to take pride and care in being me before I could nuture anyone else, or be a strong independent person/professional.

    Add to that, your questioning sentiment about who we dress for: Does it matter so long as you honor yourself in the process?

    My mom taught me to be authentic to myself – even when she didn’t agree with my choices.

    I miss my mom.

  • Reply
    August 22, 2017 at 6:55 am

    Yes! The problem is when you can’t find or can’t afford the clothes that you love! And it’s a lot of work which I don’t have time time for!

    • Reply
      August 22, 2017 at 11:27 am

      Maybe one day! Finding just one thing that pleases you can feel like you won the lottery. Best wishes!

  • Reply
    January 23, 2018 at 4:57 am

    I really appreciate your blog. It is REALISTIC. So much of fashion writing is not realistic for NORMAL ladies busy with their lives. They don’t go to glamour offices, or to shabby-chic fast food workplaces, or in a palace as a stay-at-home mom with servants. Those are SHOW-OFF places. I am over 60 retired NaNIE, taking care of two little GRANDS, but I dress with thoughtfulness and want to look “presentable” in case we go out abruptly. Not a high-fashion model style, but with style. Thank you.
    One thing, though, guess I’m a picky one…..I would do some shoe primping for pictures. Sorry.

    • Reply
      January 23, 2018 at 1:39 pm

      Love your comments, Carolyn! And don’t be sorry about the shoe primping. You may inspire me. I could come over to your side on this if the wide blows! I sure appreciate you being here. Thanks!

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