0 In Getting Dressed

Turtlenecks be gone!


Unless you’re twenty years old, a turtleneck may not be your friend. I was working with a client in her closet last week. We were getting her ready for winter. She pulled out a stack of turtlenecks and was maybe just a little bit surprised when I suggested she try them on for me.

This client has a 34-year-old daughter so we can guess at her age, right? Turtleneck #1 went over her head.

“Off it goes and in the giveaway pile,” I said.

“Really?” she said.

“Yup, take a look in the mirror. See how this turtleneck is groping your neck inappropriately?” I replied.

And then she saw what I saw. Her neck was looking 75% more wrinkled in the turtleneck than it had in the crew neck sweater she’d had on earlier.

The first time I ever noticed this fashion injustice was probably a dozen years ago. Diane Keaton, my fashion idol for mixing classic pieces with eclectic ones, was appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show. She had on a full circle skirt that would be totally in style today. On top she wore a fine-knit turtleneck. What wasn’t fine about it was that the neck of the shirt was just clinging to her neck for dear life and every time she moved in her expressive way, that neckline just grabbed and twisted at the looser skin on her neck. That turtleneck should have been arrested for misrepresentation.

Okay, yes, Diane Keaton’s skin on her neck was looser than say the skin on her arms but gosh, that turtleneck was totally distorting her good looks. So I am a bit sensitive to this fact for both my clients and myself. You might say I have turtleneck radar!

This weekend I spent some post-turkey holiday time finding peace in my closet. There’s nothing like doing a little purging in there that makes me feel 10 pounds lighter and letting go of things that no longer serve me is oh-so-calming. I tried on my two remaining turtlenecks to see if they’d somehow gotten tighter since the last time I wore them. They are staying but they’re definitely on probation.

Is it time to try on your turtlenecks to see if they are making you look great or not? You know, if you have to toss them, you can always create your own turtleneck effect by wearing a scarf around your neck — loosely. Now that’s a good look!

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