46 In Style

What do your rings say about you?

Brenda at Boon Fly

Pondering what messages rings send


My jewelry guru, Gloria Untermann, told me once that she always learned a lot about someone by the rings on their fingers. It was one way she read people’s style when she worked at Saks Fifth Avenue. She’s retired but many of you in the Bay Area know exactly who I’m talking about.

I felt like she was the store mascot because whenever you went through the revolving doors at Powell and Stockton you’d see Gloria standing behind a jewelry counter. She’s striking, regal, statuesque. She’s taller than most and her black hair would be pulled back tight and put into a sleek bun. She wore bold glasses and usually wore bold jewelry. She dressed in black, all the better to showcase her jewelry collection.

I interviewed Gloria for Brenda Kinsel’s Fashion Makeover. You can read it on pages 120-121.


Thinking about what Gloria said about rings

The subject of rings came up on my visit with Dad over the holidays. He lives in Perham, Minnesota at an assisted living facility called Briarwood. I always look forward to seeing Dad but I enjoy his resident mates as well!

This time I met some relative newcomers, like Tom. Tom grew up on a farm in the area. He served in the Korean War as a young man, came home after two years and his dad assumed he would stay and work on the farm. Tom said, “Oh no, I don’t want to work the farm!” The next morning Tom found his suitcase packed and positioned at the head of the driveway. There would be no free lunch here!

So he and a couple of friends joined the Navy. Where did they get stationed? San Diego, California, the city noted for having the best weather in the whole country. He’s telling me this story on a day when the high in Minnesota was going to be -14. After 30 years in the Navy, he started a home renovations construction business that his sons still run today in San Diego.

He’s got such a quick wit.


A new friend at Briarwood

Tom, one of Dad’s friends at Briarwood


Everyone gathers in the dining room at noontime for their main meal. The dining room has 4-top or 6-top tables. It’s a great place to study hands and rings. A hand reaches out to pour coffee for others. Another hand passes the packets of salad dressing. Sometimes desserts are passed to someone across the table.  Leftover ham on one’s plate gets wrapped up in a napkin and passed to the person at the table who has a small dog who would appreciate it. Tom loved these butter bars. I gave him mine to eat later.


Minnesota bars

Briarwood butter bars


It wasn’t the first day, maybe the second one, when I noticed Tom’s rings. One of them was a family ring of gold and diamonds. The diamonds looked like they were set in tangled vines from Nature.


Unusual diamond ring

Tom’s diamond and gold ring


Tom told me the second one had elephant tusk in it. Dad said, “Did you hunt down the elephant for that one?” Tom laughed heartily and said, “No.” He added, “I don’t take them off.”


Tom's elephant tusk ring

Tom said, “I never take my rings off.”


What do you suppose Tom’s rings say about him?


Yvonne loves her diamonds

I was Dad’s date on New Year’s Eve. The party started at 4:40 pm. Yvonne sat at our table along with her husband Joe. They’re from Bismarck, North Dakota’s capital. She’s very social and talkative with great stories. Her dad was the sheriff in town and her family lived in the same building as the prisoners. Her dad was hit over the head during a prison break. He survived.

Every December she makes all kinds of traditional Norwegian treats and then throws a party. She dresses up in Norwegian attire. Next year I think I should plan my trip around her party. She provides an amazing spread of all my favorite treats growing up.

This time my brother, sister-in-law and I made lefse, another Norwegian treat. We invited Yvonne to join us. She pulled up her wheelchair and rolled it out like a pro. This is the same woman who goes to dialysis three times a week, is diabetic and has heart problems. You’d never know that about her unless she told you.


Making lefse

Yvonne rolls out lefse from her wheelchair


But back to New Year’s Eve! When Yvonne was talking I couldn’t help but notice her sparkly diamonds. They danced in the light. I asked to see them up close.



She told me she LOVES diamonds and has lots of diamond rings. Somehow that did not surprise me!


Diamond rings

Yvonne’s diamond rings


What do you think Yvonne’s rings say about her?


Gloria’s rules about buying jewelry

One thing Gloria says about jewelry is that you have to live by the 100 percent rule. She explains:


Each piece of jewelry you consider adding to your accessory wardrobe should be 100 percent right for you. ‘Good enough’ is not good enough. Each piece of jewelry you own must be 100 percent right for you so you can love it forever.


I got to thinking about my own relationship to rings. My mother had only two rings that I remember: her wedding ring and a fancier ring with diamonds that she got years later.

My own wedding ring was an antique cameo ring, not a diamond. I guess I’m not traditional that way.

About ten years ago I started longing to wear rings. I tried some on at Nordstrom. They were large ones. The salesperson told me that I couldn’t wear a large ring during the day. Really I thought? But I liked the big ones!

Another year or two went by before I spotted this Owl Ring. I fell hard for it. I thought about it for a whole year. Then I talked to the artist, Victor Sanz from Sonoma, about it. I was not going to wear this ring just at night or for special occasions. I would buy it only if I determined I could wear it every day. Victor let me try it out for a week. Sold! I will love it forever!


The Owl Ring

The Owl Ring by Victor Sanz


The ring I never take off my finger is this sterling silver one by Jen Moore, another local artist. She owned SAX Consignment before my daughters did. She sold them the business so she could focus on jewelry design. She does incredibly intricate things although this ring is a very clean design, wouldn’t you say? You’ve probably had this experience where you put something on and it feels like a natural extension of you IMMEDIATELY! That’s how this ring is. I love the two parts and that there’s a blank space between them. I love the smooth finish. I love how it feels. It’s 100 percent.


Ring by Jen Moore

Ring by Jen Moore


Ring by Jen Moore

Jen’s ring stays on my finger always


The other ring I wear a lot is large, bulbous, and odd-shaped. My daughter Erin gave it to me. It has shiny set in sparkly parts that I imagine are pretend-diamonds. It’s got lots of gunmetal patina on it. Erin calls it a Salvador Dali ring. I think she regrets giving it to me but honestly, it’s much better on me than it is on her.


Abstract ring by Turkish designer

A bulbous ring by a Turkish designer


I’m still a novice at reading rings. I’m not sure what mine says about me. But I do know that I’m so glad I ignored that salesperson’s advice to only wear big rings at night. If I’d heeded her advice I would have lost out on all the pleasure these rings have brought me!



What’s your ring story? Do you have a favorite you’d like to share? Do you have a ring collection? Do you want to give us your analysis about what these rings are saying about my pals? Can’t wait to hear from you!



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  • Reply
    January 11, 2018 at 1:40 am

    The only ring I wear is my wedding ring, which is a chunky silver ring of daisies. I wear it always and I love to hear it “chink” against things: the gear lever when I’m driving, the edge of the pool when I’m swimming, against pots and pans when I’m washing up: a regular chime that reminds me how happy I am to be married and how lucky I am.

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 12:07 pm

      I am “hearing” your ring too! Isn’t that great how you get multiple sensations for your ring? Sound, vision, and of course, the heart connection.

  • Reply
    January 11, 2018 at 3:54 am

    …Spags…what a beautiful sentiment and visual to share!!!
    I wear my eternity band but change out my wedding rings almost everyday! I love variety! As we cleaned out my mothers house this fall/winter, I asked my daughter what one thing of mine would remind her of me when I was gone. She said she only wants my rings! So no household items are really that important…the hands that love us are!

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 12:12 pm

      That’s great, Kathy. And I agree about Spags’ sentiment. I think I have one daughter who is coveting a thing or two of mine. I’ll have to ask!

  • Reply
    January 11, 2018 at 4:02 am

    Well, since you asked, I love, love, love rings. I have been collecting them for over 40 years, and have a very eclectic collection. I guess you could say I have more than enough, but really what is that. My friends think so. I purchase rings as reminders of my travels as well, and love to tell the stories when people ask about them. They are unique and different than most of my friends’ rings. I will change styles to fit my mood or whim, not necessarily what I am wearing. I don’t usually wear yellow gold, as white looks much better on me, however if it is a family treasure passed on, I will make and exception. I really like Toms’ rings. They are unique and make you want to know the story behind them. Yvonnes’ rings look like they have a past and that index finger has a real story. Beautiful. Also, I am so glad you did not listen to the salesperson. Not wearing large rings in the daytime would limit personal expression, and also not be so much fun. I have always loved when you wear your ‘Dali” ring, and also the owl. I know what it is like to revisit a piece a few times before purchasing it, just to be sure it is really speaking to you. Glad you decided on it. Great post on one of my fav subjects.
    P.s. your outfit in the first picture is fantastic.

    • Reply
      Dianne Teegarden
      January 12, 2018 at 8:58 pm

      I am a Dianne also and just love Brenda’s posts. This is my first time to comment, but I just had to tell Diane that I could have written her comment, right down to the part about the ring “speaking to her ” and letting her know if it should belong to her. The same take on Tom’s rings and the index ring of Yvonne. I also think that the lines in the skin and changes in the joints add to the beauty of the larger unusual rings. Rather than avoiding larger rings with age, I think the larger more interesting ones hold their own very well on an older hand.
      Great post Brenda!!!

      • Reply
        January 16, 2018 at 1:29 pm

        I think you are absolutely right, Dianne. A full life deserves some full-bodied rings. Amen.

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 12:15 pm

      Diane, I love meeting people like you! I believe a “ring” person is a confident person. It’s almost like rings are very personal, like tattoos, only who wants to get a tattoo? Okay, I’m sure there are people who want to but I think I’d rather get a ring, something I can love and then change out to something else and then come back to it again. I agree with you about Tom’s rings. I found them absolutely fascinating. REally made me want to know more about his life. Interesting rings, interesting person…maybe?

  • Reply
    Cindy La Ferle
    January 11, 2018 at 4:20 am

    I’ve been thinking about you — every time there’s more worrisome news about California! Glad to see your post this morning.

    As for the rings you’ve shown — I love them all, and I appreciate the personal mythology that goes with each one.

    As I age, I’m more sensitive about the appearance of my hands. I type a lot, so my manicures don’t hold up as well, and while I know I should be proud of all the age spots and wrinkles I’ve got, I worry that my rings draw too much attention to them. (I used to wear more rings all at once when I was younger, but now it bothers me to wear too many at a time.) Regardless, I always wear my wedding ring. I’ve also collected some interesting rings from art fairs — one reminds me of your ring by the Turkish designer — which I wear one at a time on my right hand.

    In recent years, I’ve started wearing bracelets more often — often more than one at a time. I have a collection of sterling bangles I love, some of which were gifts from Tiffany’s, and I also enjoy the wider cuff bracelets.

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:07 pm

      I love hearing how your style has evolved. I remember a time when I never wore bangles or wide cuffs. Times have changed!

  • Reply
    January 11, 2018 at 4:52 am

    What a beautiful post! I’m referring to the text first and then the photographs! I especially liked Tom’s rings! I’ve never been a “ring” person. I wear two rings. A $19.99 gold wedding ring and a rose gold high school ring that belonged to my mother in law. I’ve had 4 wedding rings but 1 husband. We married in the 70’s so we had an artist make “hippie rings” (as my Dad called them.) The rings weren’t ready for the wedding so I ran to the store and bought some inexpensive rings to use at our ceremony. The hippie rings arrived a few weeks after the ceremony. We wore them for a few years. When I went to law school, I wanted a more traditional looking ring because guys in law school (and there were mostly male students back then) hit on me during our weekly “beer blasts.”. I went to a discount jewelry store which was down the block from my law school and bought my 19.99 gold ring! Years later, we bought matching platinum bands but the spouse lost his new ring 3 days later while helping a friend clean her gym. I prefer the 19.99 gold ring to the platinum band. I look at my hands and think “plain but strong and capable.”

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:09 pm

      Robbi, I love this story! I imagine there was a word or two expressed when the hubby lost the ring so fast, but we move on! Love how you’re wearing the 19.99 one. And three cheers for strong and capable. YES!

  • Reply
    Sandy B.
    January 11, 2018 at 5:09 am

    I love rings and have perhaps 6-8 of them. But I’ve found that with aging, my fingers swell and perhaps twist? But most of my rings are only on my fingers for and hour or so before I find them irritating. There are 2 that I wear all the time: one is a simple slim silver band with inserts of blue enamel and the other is a Celtic knot which I love and searched for for many years. (Thrift stores; thank you Value Village for your 50% off days of yore!) The one band I like just because of its simplicity; and blue is my favorite color. The Celtic knot I love because it reminds me of the twists and turns that are constant throuthout life: you never know what’s around the next corner.

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:11 pm

      Boy, you said it! You never know what’s around the corner. Everything you said about the Celtic ring intrigued me. I love how rich ring stories are. Thanks for sharing yours!

  • Reply
    Patricia Geraghty
    January 11, 2018 at 8:01 am

    What my complete lack of rings says about me is that I am an NP gynecologist. Enough said.

    • Reply
      TJ Southwell
      January 11, 2018 at 2:12 pm

      This made me laugh xxx

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:11 pm

      You said it all!!!

    • Reply
      January 17, 2018 at 6:12 am

      Wonderful. And I think there must be many women who thank you for it!!!

  • Reply
    Cindy Scurry
    January 11, 2018 at 8:16 am

    Love your post. i enjoy large glass rings. I wear them often – red, cobalt blue, etc. They are super comfortable and simple in design and bold. I guess that describes me? Thanks for posting. i love the pictures of the elder hands. Much respect for them hands! C

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:12 pm

      Glass rings! I wouldn’t have thought of that! If the description fits, right? YES!!

  • Reply
    Katherine Cramer
    January 11, 2018 at 12:25 pm

    Who knew a ring tribute would feature Elder hands and stories! Of course. I expect the unexpected from this dear Community. I love the stories and the hands that pass them along. All gorgeous rings… more so for their unique attachments. A year ago I noticed the diamond had come out of my wedding ring. Luckily I saw the diamond. However, I have been slow to have my custom design ring repaired. 26 years ago, my one direction for a wedding ring design was that it be able to withstand a fair amount of rough and tough–no tiny prongs. My half bezel setting did well to remain intact for 25 years. My ring is gold and I have wished for an alternate modern silvery (white gold or platinum) metal and diamond ring to go with silvery costume jewelry. I have been looking. In the interim, I’ve worn one or two of a stackable trio of inexpensive channel rhinestone band rings (1 each of gold, rose gold, silver). I’ve had fun mixing and matching them. On my right hand I wear costume cocktail rings (for avant garde) or some pretty but conventional colored gems either inherited or bought. I’m most likely not wearing any rings when I am at home. I can be rough on rings and don’t want to knock them around.

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:15 pm

      I have a client who wants a silvery metal band for her wedding rings as it would go so well with what she wears. You may have a golden (oops, there’s a pun) opportunity here to change things out, right? Often I do take my rings off around 7 or 7:30 and my hands go naked for the evening, except for the Jennifer Moore ring. I like your ring stock as you describe it!

  • Reply
    January 11, 2018 at 2:47 pm

    Dear Brenda, once again you have brought attention to something that’s been on my mind lately, rings. I’ve never worn much jewelry in my life. Two years ago, with my heart in tatters and slowly being mended together, I saw a huge silvet heart ring, 2 pieces sewn together with red leather thread… oh my! But I convinced myself it wasn’t for me, too big, blah blah blah… and didn’t want to explain the ring. I finally bought it this spring and my heart soared that we were together! I have worn it proudly and let people think what they wanted and offered no explanation. I now look at people’s rings and wonder at their stories; maybe there isn’t one, but there is one on my finger. Thank you for being there for us!

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:17 pm

      Wow, Lea, I have chills! It was truly meant for you. And isn’t it interesting how you can just hold that story without offering explanations? Where that was a detail that stopped you the first time, it became a non-issue! Bravo!

  • Reply
    Barbara Kraus
    January 11, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    Thanks for this Brenda. It’s made me realize that the similaritiy between my ring style and my clothing style means that I have continuity of style over time. Time to enhance it, try small tweaks, play with it, but let go of the thought that I should have a different look. Calm/peace of mind/centered feeling emerging. Grateful.

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:17 pm

      Beautiful, Barbara!

  • Reply
    January 11, 2018 at 4:57 pm

    Brenda, I agree with Diane… I love the outfit in the first pic. The Pants, where can I get them? The blouse, love the color, and it goes with that fabulous lip color! What color/brand is it?
    As for rings, I love them, but I have trouble getting them because my fingers are ridiculously small. My ring size is a 4.25 so most rings are way to big on me, and sizing costs $$, but it is worth it for some pieces. My most favorite ring is a gold, sapphire and diamond ring my husband bought me when we were in Rajasthan, India last March. Sapphire is my birthstone and I have been wanting the stone for years and years. The fact that it is also a momento of our once in a lifetime trip makes it even more special to me.

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:20 pm

      Easy for you, I just blogged about that outfit! Lip color is D for Danger, MAC. Pant was Ann Taylor, years back. The blouse was J.Crew also years back. Not sure what they called the color. I call it Merlot. Wow, that is small! Your story about your most favorite ring is wonderful. I love when they have double, triple, and more meanings to them. I’m so happy you have it!

  • Reply
    January 11, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    I lived in Indonesia for a time and a custom among Javanese men in those days was to have a large, single talisman stone worn as a ring.
    A stone was selected based or its strong appeal to the person seeking a talisman–appeal being a mild word. Love at first sight might be a better way to describe it. I know the feeling–that frisson I get when I see a piece of jewelry I know is exactly for me.
    Stone selected, the would-be owner took it home to see if they were compatible. Bad dreams or unfortunate situations during that time meant the stone wasn’t the correct one and back it went to the seller and the search would continue.
    I don’t know if it still is a custom, but it seemed to be a very old belief so I wouldn’t be surprised if it were. It was a process very similar to Gloria’s advice.
    As for my own rings, I have a large collection, made larger by the fact that I also make rings and belong to a wonderful circle of creative jewelry artists. There’s always something new to see and everyone’s vision is different!
    Just my advice, but not all rings should be worn all the time because some stones are very susceptible to damage. Pearls, coral, tanzanite, kunzite, emeralds, to name a few, can be damaged by detergents, abrasives, chlorine bleach, and just plain impact. So sad to see such beauty damaged!
    Long posting, my apologies!

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:23 pm

      No apologies whatsoever! What you shared is just fascinating! Just think if we carried that custom into clothing. Well, actually, we can! That’s what return policies are all about. But that was great. I imagine being an artist and having artist friends that collecting rings goes into a whole other dimension than it does for lay people. Thanks for sharing the words of caution as well. Very generous! Thank you, Liz!

  • Reply
    January 12, 2018 at 8:15 am

    I have TOO MANY RINGS!Some too BIG to wear!I never had them sized down thinking as I age my FINGERS would enlarge!
    I have a COLLECTION of sorts of RUBY and DIAMONDS.I wear a lot of them on my RING finger…….I call it the ENCRUSTED LOOK!
    I adore PINKY finger rings!I LOST my FATHER’s BABY ring at elementary school once and never found it!That DEVASTATED me and MY MOTHER!
    These ruby and diamonds come from THE ITALIAN for SPECIAL OCCASIONS……..
    A pinky ring I have with TWO RUBIES and ONE DIAMOND came in MY FIRST BORNS DIAPER….on a BLUE ribbon.BABY had a BLOW OUT!I tossed that diaper a side quickly!Thank GOODNESS my MOTHER was visiting and in on the SURPRISE!She called me over to say I think you have some JEWELS in the FAMILY JEWELS!
    Another anniversary ring…….7 years as it has seven rubies…..was in my coffee cup which he put beside the bed!It was actually a CAPPUCCINO and he made a stand out of wire so I wouldn’t SWALLOW the CIGAR BAND RING!One my second sips my lip HIT that stand!
    Diamond earrings came on THE MALE CAT COLLAR………for VALENTINES DAY.Which was encrusted with BLING!The collar TAG said WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE!
    This is so funny as I was going to do a POST on PRESENTATION!!!
    SO, you have a peek already!
    These are a few of my RING STORIES!!!

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:25 pm

      Okay, your ring stories are dazzlers! What creativity! Oh, my!!!! Thanks for sharing, dear friend.

  • Reply
    January 12, 2018 at 10:45 am

    Tom’s hands hold he influences from his family, as well as the experiences he has gained from his own ventures in life. It’s a rich combination. Yvonne’s hands reflect the way she focuses on the good and shares it widely with others.
    Sometimes people wear rings on necklaces instead of on their hands. I like the symbol of a circle in rings.
    Your post has reminded me of an older family friend, a professional jewelry designer. She was a tall, large, graceful woman who drove a tiny, bright sports car and wore modern, artistic clothing — dramatic and colorful outfits like caftans — with big gems in unusual shapes and settings., especially on her hands. Once she gave me a tour of a local gem show. It was a very exciting car ride, and the variety of stones changed my ideas about beauty and the earth, and about how women could move beyond too small boundaries of how to look, be, and act.

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:27 pm

      Amy, this is so rich! You’re so right about Yvonne. With all her health problems she definitely focuses on the good in life and is a big sharer. You don’t miss her when she’s in the room, ever. What a great experience with your family friend. Now that’s some serious schooling in how to look at the world! Thanks for this share!

  • Reply
    Trinnie q
    January 13, 2018 at 1:35 am

    Ohh I loved the story of Tom, and the stories his hands told . As I said in Tips and Teasers , my remodelled Grandmas ring, is what I wear when I need a special talisman for courage or strengths for a day. Or just to remind me of her love. Otherwise I have a series of fun costume rings I like to wear , to match different outfits

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:28 pm

      I love the way you have that talisman at your disposal. We all need those, right? Thanks, Trinnie!

  • Reply
    January 13, 2018 at 9:46 pm

    Our wedding rings were a mistake! We chose classic plain bands but when we went to pick them up, the jeweller gave us 2 that were a different design but interesting, so we decided to keep them!! I’ve had more than a few comments about mine.(FYI, they look a bit like gold wheel rims-without a tyre!!) When we celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary, 5 years ago, we had rings custom made by our local jeweller,who is the last hand-engraver left in our state (he’s 4th generation in the business). When my man and I were writing love letters to each other during our courtship year (he was living in the country while I was in the city), my 3rd kiss-sign(X) somehow always ended up as the eternity symbol (something I didn’t know about at the time). SO…. on our matching hand-engraved rings we have a central ‘eternity’ symbol, with our own initials on the outside at each end, and with our 2 children’s initials inside the curves of the infinity symbol. All initials are done in a sort of modern copperplate. Mine has tiny sprigs of leaves on the very outsides of the whole design to make it a bit more ‘feminine’. We LOVE our matching rings!!

    • Reply
      January 16, 2018 at 1:31 pm

      What a story! I had no idea a post about rings would yield so many rich, wonderful stories. Your new rings sound divine. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I can just see it all!

  • Reply
    January 17, 2018 at 6:09 am

    I love your fashion posts and have learned a so much from them since I started visiting, but it is your writing about people that draws me back time and time again.This post has really started me thinking. My Mum has advancing dementia and has been in a nursing home for around 6 months now. She has taken a while to settle, so most of my visits have naturally concentrated on her – mostly reassuring, reminiscing, singing and holding hands. But as she is starting to feel more at home, we have time to engage with some of the other residents as well. There is one lovely lady called Enid. She is always beautifully dressed – nicely cut trousers, smart tweed jacket with a blouse and cameo brooch at her throat. But her most striking accessory is a life-size stuffed Scottie dog that I have never seen her without. She takes him for a walk around the garden every day, even putting him down on the grass so he can do what dogs do naturally! I am sure that, deep down inside, she knows that her little dog isn’t “real”, but that one little deception gives her a constant companion and focus in life. And they do seem very happy together.
    As for rings, I have never been much of a ring wearer. I don’t know why as I love most jewellery. Possibly because I spend a lot of my spare time with hands in the soil. This proved to be problematical when my now-husband decided to propose. He wanted to do the whole “on bended knee” thing, but couldn’t find a ring on my dressing table to sneak to the jeweller to compare the size. His solution to this problem was to wait until I had gone to sleep and then, by touch alone, compare the size of my finger against various round objects until he found the right one.
    And he got it exactly right – my engagement ring fitted perfectly. Apparently my finger is exactly the same size as a plumbing compression fitting “olive”!

    • Reply
      January 18, 2018 at 12:07 pm

      Oh, both of these stories are divine! I’m discovering a whole other world when I’m with my dad. He’s in an assisted living situation but many people are forgetful, but not quite dementia but who they are is wonderful. I’m glad you’re getting this time with your mom and meeting new people. The story of your husband–oh my gosh, that needs to be in a book somewhere. Consider this the first installment as I imagine you two have had many interesting stories together! That was precious and I could see it all happening. True love!!! Thanks for sharing it with us!

  • Reply
    January 24, 2018 at 11:18 am

    Here’s a comment that came from Valerie through an email. I loved hearing this story and wanted to share it with all of you! Here goes:
    Your recent blog about rings was so interesting and it made me think of my mother’s family ring.

    One of my mother’s most precious possessions was her family ring.
    In honor of my parent’s 25th wedding anniversary, in 1971, the eldest daughter suggested that we have a family ring designed to mark the moment. This daughter was a hair stylist and she had long admired a family ring worn by one of her clients so we set about to find a “similar” one. We had one custom designed, with all the stones reflecting each child’s birthday. We were a family of 9 children – 5 girls, 4 boys…..a big, boisterous French Canadian family!

    After my mother’s passing, through the executor, it was arranged that the daughters would receive the few pieces of jewelry that our mom had. If the daughters wanted to trade their pieces with one another, that was ok. The executor asked each daughter to pick a piece of paper out of a hat and it showed what piece each of us got.
    I was thrilled to get the family ring in the draw but was not ready to make a trade. Though I loved the ring, I did not wear it much, it really was too big for my hand. Over the years, my sister would ask about the ring and she even asked to borrow it for special occasions, such as her own daughters’ weddings. She is much more sentimental than I am!!!

    When my husband and I downsized to our mountain condo in Canmore, Alberta my sister came for a visit – we were looking through my jewelry collection when she spotted the ring – she put it on and said how much she loved it. It looked beautiful on her hand. As she was turning 65 a few months later I thought it would be fitting to give her the ring for her birthday. After all…..it was her idea to have it designed so many years ago, she is the eldest daughter and of all the daughters is probably the most “maternal” of us all!! You see when our mother passed away at age 66, she took on the role of “mother” in the family!

    My sister was absolutely thrilled and cried when she received it on her birthday She wears it every day and cherishes it, there is nothing that could have topped that present! And….. I know our mother is smiling down on us, she would have been proud!

  • Reply
    March 3, 2018 at 7:59 am

    I love this post about rings! In my younger days I only ever wore one ring at a time, thinking more was just too much for me as I have very small hands and fingers. But in recent years, I’ve had the strong desire to wear more, MANY more! Wedding ring, several right hand rings, pinky rings – all at once. Disappointed that my coming “late to the party” was a real shame because now all these rings weren’t so pretty on my wrinkled hands, I happened to see a picture of the English actress Dame Judi Dench – now in her 80s. Her hands were covered in rings! I began to notice her tendency to wear multiple rings even on screen. Well, if Dame Judi doesn’t give a rip what anyone thinks, why should I? LOL The one constant is my simple vine designed gold wedding band, but the rest of my ring wardrobe changes daily with my mood and my clothing selection : yellow gold with emerald, silver scrolls, silver signet, white gold with diamonds (my mother’s), yellow gold with pearl, one with a garnet – what ever I like! There is a story behind every one and they all make me smile. Thanks again for a great post!

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      March 3, 2018 at 9:11 am

      Thanks so much for your FABULOUS ring story! When it comes to rings and their beauty and meaning, age has nothing to do with it. That’s what I think!

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    April 9, 2019 at 7:41 am

    I love your (recently discovered!) blogs, and especially how your final question invites introspection and feedback. Some bring tears to my eyes—this is one. A few years back mom gave me her wedding and engagement ring, and her mother’s wedding ring (my Nana Sylvia)—I wear all three with my plain white gold ring, so I have three generations on my ring finger. LOVE. And my right hand ring finger, every day, is a silver-and-black-onyx ring bought years ago at Poquaque Pueblo between Santa Fe and Taos. I have two bracelets that match, but it goes with everything, not just my collection of Navajo jewelry (which now includes all of mom’s pieces, as well). When I’m wearing some special piece of turquoise, or amethyst, I swap out that ring with something more matchy (I prefer “supportive”!)—have to share the love! And there is SO much love in these tiny treasures—memories galore: ring swaps with girlfriends 50 years ago, gifts from friends at church, souvenirs from trips…a life album only I can “read”…

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      April 19, 2019 at 1:21 pm

      Laura, I have absolute chills reading this! You’ve made such a great case for wearing rings and treasures from the generations. I love that you have your mother’s ring and your grandmother’s ring with your own. What joy, peace, and love. I’m so moved. Thank you so much for sharing!

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    Kathleen Adams
    March 31, 2020 at 5:06 pm

    Here’s a wedding diamond story that is very near to my heart. My parents were married at the beginning of WW2,when my dad was enlisting. He was 18, my mom 17. They paid $25.00 for their rings. She never took hers off, & was intent on being buried with it. I begged & pleaded with her to not do that many times for sentimental value. I wanted the ring to be handed down in our family. Over the years, I accumulated some lovely rings that my husband bought me as gifts, my own wedding rings, & when my Aunt passed (my mom’s sister) she left me her diamonds as well. (She was never able to have children. She also named me, the same name as a stillborn daughter of hers. Gave me a start to see my name on that tombstone!) Anyway, unknown to me until she had passed, my mom left her diamond to my daughter. Mom was sick with cancer for 6 months before passing. She asked me once if I wore Aunt Marian’s ring. I said I wore it everyday. She must have figured I would not want a $25.00 ring if I could wear a several carat one. I was so touched that she left my daughter that ring! About a year later, my youngest (very sentimental) son was about to ask a wonderful young woman, & former student of mine, to marry him. He wheedled his way into talking my daughter into giving him Grandma Kate’s ring by writing a poem about how much it would mean to him. Of course, she could not refuse. My husband said,” But what if Jamie doesn’t want Grandma’s ring? Maybe she wants to pick her own ring?” And Nikk said, “Then I will know she is not the girl for me, after all.” Jamie loved the ring! And that was 8 years ago. I now get to see my mom’s ring on my daughter-in-law’s beautiful hand. True story, had to share.

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